"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your friends compliment you on your new
alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your
pacemaker opens the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of
your face.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just
as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor
instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means you don't need to
take any fiber today.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the
parking lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all nighter" means not getting up to pee.