The Escaped Convict

An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder,
had spent 25 years of his life sentence in prison.
He escaped and while on the run, he broke into a house
and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping
in their bedroom.  He tied the man to a chair on one
side of the room and his wife on the bed.  He got on the
bed right over the woman, and it appeared he was kissing
her neck.  Suddenly he got up and left the room.

As soon as possible the husband made his way across the
room to his bride, his chair in tow, and whispered:
"Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years.  I saw him
kissing on your neck and then he left in a hurry.  Just
cooperate and do anything he wants.  If he wants to have
sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it.
Whatever you do don't fight him or make him mad.  Our lives
depend on it!
Be strong and I love you."

After spitting out the gag in her mouth, the half naked
wife says:
"Dear, I'm so relieved you feel that way.  You're right,
he hasn't seen a woman in years, but he wasn't kissing my
neck... He was whispering in my ear. He said he thinks
you're really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the bathroom.
Be strong and I love you, too."